FBI

...dream blur...

I'm on a big bus, we're starting to move, slowly. We pass by other buses and everyone seems to be staring at us, looking for something. People outside looking in. The bus turns around after a while and we go along the same road, same thing, people looking in. Then I know: they're looking for someone. At one point little dogs, of the dachshund breed, start running towards the bus, sniffing, barking. They bark at where I'm sitting.

A very attractive FBI agent is asking me questions. He knows I'm a good person, I'm not the one they're looking for, but nevertheless has to frisk me. He only does one leg. I'm sitting down with my left leg up high. I'm wearing sweats. He lets his hands slide along my leg, feeling if I'm hiding something underneath my sweats. Obviously I'm not.

We talk about how you know when you're looking at someone you can see in their eyes if they're good or bad. And that's why he must have known I'm a good person. But he says it's not true. Even the most innocent looking people can be guilty of a bad conscience and do bad things.

We ride in his car, he takes me home. His home. We enter a parking garage, it's full of people cutting weed. Do they know he's FBI? Does he allow them? Condone it?

...dream blur...

New Year's party on a rooftop. Trying to show my parents the fireworks. Then I see him and his friends. I walk towards him and he's mean to me. 'Who the hell are you?' I thought we had connected, we had something going on, but now he's acting as if we've never met. And being convincing at it. His friends say it's a fase. He'll turn around. I don't know if I want him to. What an asshole. Tough, attractive FBI turns into a mean asshole.

Freaking out

Last night I went on a plane to cross the Atlantic. (In real life I'm claustrofobic.) I started being nervous at the airport. Started breathing fast when we came closer. Started hyperventilating and actually freaked out when I had to go into a tunnel toward the plane. Started screaming and fighting and there was no way I was calming down. I ended up on the plane anyway. Small plane I remember. Then we got off, because I couldn't stay. I went home with one of the stewardesses. She told me the plane was late. It was going to stand there for a couple of hours.

Also dreamed about my second serious boyfriend of three years. He was nagging me, being a drag. Did not like seeing him.

Soft kisses

Had a date with a guy I once saw on a Spanish television dating show. He was gorgeous and our kisses soft. There was water in the background, like a small river.

Swimming

The title isn't correct, but another one with 'ex' in it?? This time another one, the last one I had in my former life in the country I grew up in. He was sitting outside on the steps. I could see him from the inside where I was, I don't remember with whom. I think it was a pool and I was swimming. There was something about wristbands, handy wristband with plastic coins attached to it, so we wouldn't need a real coin to open and close our lockers.

Don't remember about the swimming. A pity, 'cause stuff happened.

And then the ex turns around and comes inside, wearing a uniform of a guy who works in, I don't know what it's called, guarding the building. As a guard! A safety guard! Which was so weird, 'cause he was some big manager in the fitness world and this is just nothing like him.

Again, with the ex...

I got out of class and on the streets I see my ex's best friend. He sees me too. But we don't say anything. I start walking and see my ex. I catch up with him. We walk together. I try to grab his hand. He doesn't want that. I put my hand in his coat pocket. He does want that. I don't know if we talk or just walk and communicate while thinking.

We're in a hallway, I think it's the building where I teach. We talk. I explain again why I feel it's unnecessary to break up like this. I explain how we can try and feel our way into the (pregnant) situation. This part I remember most about the dream: he's touched. He's warm. He's emotional. And he rests his head against my chest. And that feels so good.

Then I have to go, I have a class to teach. I get in the elevator which goes way too slow and then gets stuck. I need help getting out and blame the elevator on arriving late for class.

Substitute

In my last dream I was sitting across from my ex lover. He tells me this weekend they're going to Princesa 23 for a night of free finger food and electronic music. He says I should come. I want to. But do I? Do I want to be there and not being able to be the girl to him I was for the last seven months? Do I want to be there having to keep a distance?
I ask him if he already found a substitute. If he's fucking someone else, someone else special. (From my spectator's view outside the dream I think to myself it's a stupid question, because he would never answer that in real life.) We look each other in the eye, I read doubt. He doesn't know whether to tell me the truth or not. If he isn't, he doesn't know whether to tell me the truth or hurt me to create distance. If he is, he doesn't know whether to lie to spare me or tell me the truth. And the answer is... 'I have. I am seeing someone else.'
It's a blow in my face. I feel him looking at me, expecting me to cry, shout maybe. But all I say is 'Wow. Did not expect that.' I try to contain my emotions and think to myself that I need to get the hell out of that appartment.

Then there was an earlier dream with a lot of snow and mountains and also the ex, something about a search or fleeing, but I can't remember the themes nor the story.

Pregnant

According to the pregnancy test I did in my dream last night, I score a 16, which means I'm very pregnant. Also it said it's a boy and I'll give birth in 32 weeks...

Let's see if dreams really do come true, since I found out only two weeks ago that I am actually pregnant!