Dream cheat

Blur, then a locker room, showers, one big space with several showers. Mixed showers. Looking for soap. Bottles everywhere, I forgot mine. I check all the bottles around, but they contain body lotion, not soap. I find soap. I run into an ex-fling, in the shower. We greet each other, talk a little, he starts kissing me, I don't like it. I tell him how to kiss me, to not just open his mouth and stick in his tongue, but gently grab my lips with his, explore rather then overtake. And then it's really nice. His friends are there. Some kind of party going on, no no, nothing sexual.

More blur.

Then I get to the parking garage where my car is and I see S's mobile phone. S is my current lover, not boy friend. Love without strings, hard as that might be sometimes. Anyway, his phone. It's been there for a week now. He hasn't told me he missed it. Should I go through his messages? NO!! But then yes I want to. And I do. I see messages from all sorts of people, other girls. And then I see another phone. In my dream he suddenly has another. It's bigger. (The same as the new one my roommate came back with last night.) There's one message that he sent to a girl: Me gusta mucho estar contigo. I love being with you. It was sent January 6. He's dream cheating on me...

Blur.

Date with an ex boyfriend and surgery

In one dream I had a date with my ex boyfriend, the one who I decided to change countries for. All of a sudden he showed up at the doorstep of wherever I was at that time. He looked fantastic, wore a beautiful suit. We went outside and he took my hand, which I thought was strange considering the amount of years we hadn't seen each other nor talked to one another. But it felt nice. He was talking about his motor cycle as we walked through the snow. He had a motor cycle, which is sooo not like him, and we were going on it for a ride. And then there was something with a wall where we had to pass by first and do something, but I don't remember that.

Then there's my last dream. Also blurry, but I was in the hospital for surgery. They were going to take my appendix out. I had a big bed, a double one. Had a double blanket. The doctor was young (and cute) and very friendly. I asked about where they were going to cut. At some point two new people arrived and they sat right on the head end of the bed. I remember being worried a little about the doctor being young and a resident. I remember them giving me food. Later in the dream eating myself and suddenly thinking if that was even allowed with surgery coming up. Bu then there was some logic to it, because the food would help them see where to cut.

Meryl Streep

I have to start doing that thing everything knows you should do when it comes to dreams: WRITE THEM DOWN AS SOON AS YOU WAKE UP!

I forgot almost everything from last night's dream, but the thing that stuck? Here goes:

I'm watching a scene where I and no one other than Meryl Streep are lying in a bed, fully clothed, mind you. We're in a cosy room, probably the only one in the building, 'cause it's a hospital. She's telling me about pulling jokes and getting back at people you dislike. She's wearing a (sometimes visible, sometimes not) diaper and tells me I should do the same and then weep. Weep. 'You know how to weep, don't you?' she asks...

The girl looking at the scene, me, is wondering why so much emphasis is put on the word weep and I realize I like it.

Meryl says: 'Not cry, weep.' But the meaning in the dream doesn't have to do with shedding tears, weeping means peeing. We need to pee in our diapers, and in order to do that we laugh. And then we should take off our diapers and put them in bed, at their feet, of the one person we very much dislike.

Something I remember thinking is that Meryl Streep looked great and that she was such a great actress.

New breasts

There was a train I had to catch, to somewhere... I walked down the stairs towards the open door of the wagon... The whole scene seemed to be set at the grotesque entrance of my old high school. And it all had to do with where I was going: some clinic (I guess) where i was going to get new breasts. I only found out the 'why' of the new boobs after it was done.

I saw myself without breasts and the 'oldish' doctor put my new ones on. They were big. As big as my original ones. 'Why did you give me the same ones, I wanted smaller ones!'

He then took one of the old ones, which looked like an implant. He grabbed tweezers and started plucking the filling out: wool, plush. As if it were a stuffed animal. And that's when he showed me something that looked like a bug. Like a plush bug. 'This is the tumor,' while removing it from the triangular tit. 'And this is how I see it's not spread.'

But all I worried about were my new breasts he was sowing to my chest. I wanted them to be smaller, without stretchmarks.

There was so much more, but I don't remember...